Tag: tammymayhewbook

“Cuss” “to” “me” “rrrrr” Service!#$@*

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I do not, and never will, think it is a coincidence that the phrase customer service starts phonetically with the word “cuss”. How many times have, any one of us, been cussed at when an unruly or entitled “cuss”tomer or guest was trying to force us into giving them whatever they wanted, regardless of whether or not it was deserved? If you have been a #customerservicewarrior for any length of time, I would say plenty of times. At least it was for me.

I can honestly say I was never actually cussed at when a customer had 1) a legitimate complaint, and 2) handled it in an appropriate manner. You know why? Because when they did, as all great #customerservicewarriors, Tammy Mayhew handled the situation and fixed the problem to satisfy the guest or customer. The key here and I will repeat; the customer had a valid complaint and dealt with it constructively. All of us did the very best that we could and provided the very best goods and services that we could. When that didn’t happen, we fixed it.

Then there were the one percent of “cuss”tomers who for some misguided reason believed that throwing around a number of foul words with ever increasing ferocity and pitch would somehow turn me into their cowering, delusional and spineless fairy godmother. They waved their fists like a magic wand, replacing abracadabra with a fevered misplaced, “Fuck you bitch!” We all know calling someone a bitch, cunt, fucker, dumbass or idiot with a prefix of mother, stupid, incompetent or fucking never put anyone in the mood to bend the rules for anyone.

You would think that when this happened, we would all get to level the playing field and release the little bitch that had, with the foul mouthed rant, been awakened in our minds. The one running rampant in our head trying to find a way past the forced smile and trembling hands. Sadly this wasn’t the case, not if we wanted to keep our jobs. Instead we would half heartedly nod, endlessly explain, fane an apology, and clench or teeth behind our smile in an attempt to contain and control our ever whirling justified bitchy little alter ego.

I never allowed it to happen to my team, without consequence to the customer. I always defended them. Myself not so much. I was nearly born into customer service and with that I developed a very thick skin. Scraps stitched together from foul language, names no child should be called, words an empathetic heart should never hear. I lost myself behind the sales counter. Shielded from their words by a cold hard piece of marble. Lost but fine. Always fine. (Insert smile here) Until I wasn’t anymore.

Do not lose yourself, do not listen to their rantings, do not accept their abuse, do not doubt your ability. Do smile and feel it inward, do your job well, live your life better, know your worth, defend your teams, unscript your life. And most off all keep a card handy with the contact information of at least two of your competitors and when you get the foul mouthed, unreasonable, narcissistic “cuss”tomer happily send them to darken the doorstep of your competition. Everyone will be happier, them, you and your team. Your competition maybe not so much.

I would very often tell them, in my very best sugar-coated customer service voice, “Thank you for the compliment and for the vocabulary lesson.” This never worked to well in diffusing the situation but it would make me feel better. This was right up there with letting a bitchy older (but not obviously older) customer know I gave them the senior discount, without them asking for it. Tell me what skillful little ways you have responded to a foul-mouthed, unjustified bitchy guest, when simple kindness and information did not work?

Thank you!

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Just felt the need to thank all those hard working men and women out there tirelessly helping all of us get through this. It is kind of overwhelming when you think of these folks working so all of us can have what we need, still get educated, stay well and safe. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough so I will offer my prayers for each and every one of them as well. Did I forget anyone? Let me know below and if I did thank you to them as well. Bless you all and stay safe and healthy.

Dead Man Talking

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Doesn’t that title just catch your attention? Well it should. This is a story of the best and worst of customer service from the same company. On February 19, of this year I am sorry to report that we lost a truly great man in our family, with the passing of my eighty-seven year old father-in-law. A couple of days after the funeral I spent the day, with my husband and brother-in-law making the necessary phone calls; utility company, pension fund, motor vehicle, banks and the cell phone company.

That day I spoke with an efficient, empathetic, well trained team member named Peggy. She walked us thru getting a code that she sent to his phone to verify the account, took all the necessary information, handled sending out a box to return his phone in and explained the final billing to us, which would be nothing once the phone was returned. She handled everything like an expert and hung up only after expressing her condolences. We were relieved to have one more thing checked off the list. The box was received as expected and we promptly returned the phone as promised.

A couple of weeks later we received a call from the team at my father-in-laws bank letting us know that a charge had been attempted against his now closed account, from the cell phone company. I assured her I would take care of it, as we had been assured it would be by Peggy. I thought no worries, since our experience with their team member had been so pleasant and professional.

With the kindness and courtesy with which we had been treated still fresh in my mind, and the notes from the previous call firmly in hand, I confidently called Verizon to inquire. This time a young woman answered and gave me her name as Marissa. I explained the entire sad situation, gave her my now deceased father-in-laws account # and phone # and asked if she could help. She told me she would have to speak with my father-in-law in order to access the account. Thinking she hadn’t heard me, I repeated that he was deceased and gave her the date of his passing. She politely asked me if she could put me on hold, to which I amicably agreed, naively thinking she would come back on the phone and all would be well.

She did come back on the phone, only to again tell me that in order to access the account and tell me anything she would have to speak to my father-in-law. Again, and now with some irritation behind my statement, I told her he was dead. She began to quote me FCC and privacy regulations. I again, more forcefully now told her that my father-in-law had passed and that Peggy had gladly helped us and gave her the date of the previous call. She told me that didn’t matter and that unless she could speak with my father-in-law there was nothing she could do. That’s when I asked to speak to a supervisor. Instead she again went on referring to the FCC and privacy regulations. I couldn’t help it, the bitch in my head burst out with, “Well let me just go dig him up and see if he is available to speak with you!“ and insisted on speaking with a supervisor.

After my frustrated demand and frazzled request, she put me on hold for forty-five minutes, checking back with me every couple of minutes and letting me know her supervisor was on a fraud call and would be a while. I would assure her each time I had no problem waiting. I waited, and waited, and waited only to have the call eventually disconnected on their end. Not to be discouraged, I called back and this time, spoke with a wonderful young man named Tony, who completely and courteously took care of the situation and was appalled by his fellow team members behavior and kept apologizing for it. I assured him he had no need to apologize, thanked him for his attention and assistance and did ask that he please inform a supervisor of my experience.

Three people, all trained the same, all of the human race, all working for the same company yet two very different experiences for the customer; Two people courteous, professional, empathetic, and attentive, one who was callous, unprofessional, dismissive and rude. How does this happen? How can a company be so randomly represented? I am absolutely positive this was not their intention or policy, as I have never received bad service through them, ever. That is why this was so very disturbing given the situation. How many of you have seen this type of random service where you work? Tell me how you have seen both ends of the service spectrum and how you handled it?

Survival Tips for Difficult (or Asshole) Customers

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Ninety-nine percent of your customers will leave happy—if you are doing your job right, that is. Like good sex, the interaction leaves both parties feeling satisfied and happy. But then there is the other one-percenters. The ones that wouldn’t be happy even if you wiped their ass with golden toilet paper. We have all had them and were very often completely surprised when we encountered them for the first time, because there isn’t one customer service training program out there that can or does fully prepare you for the asshole customer. So, let my hard-earned wisdom give you a little help with how to deal with these dreaded difficult customers:

  • Always keep eye contact; you want to win that contest.
  • Nod as if you understand their unreasonable behavior and requests.
  • Happily, refer them to your supervisor, who hopefully will not tell them anything different than you have—if he does, either he is a spineless jackass, or you suck at your job.
  • Better yet, refer them to your co-worker and promptly take a bathroom break.
  • Listen attentively to their ramblings.
  • Utter the occasional “I understand how you feel and am sorry you feel that way.” (Even though you know there is not a damn thing you can do about the weather.)
  • Bite the inside of your cheek until you taste the blood trickle down your throat. When you taste that metal laden flavor, stop—they aren’t worth it.
  • Always have sturdy pens available that can withstand the pressure of your grip.
  • Know how to call emergency services—for yourself or for them.
  • Just like when a woman is in labor, have a plan. Identify an object to focus on until this painful interaction is over with; find your happy place.
  • Take their name and number and tell them you will call them right back—absolutely do so, but only after you have an answer and a plan
  • Only apologize if it is sincere and you can add, “let me fix that for you.” Nothing will piss off an already angry customer like an insincere apology, followed by “There is nothing I can do to help.”
  • Closely monitor the bitch running around in your mind; she keeps a file tucked in her pants for special occasions and will pick the lock of decency and professionalism the first chance she gets. Unfortunately, her idea and your boss’s idea of when her presence is appropriate and appreciated may be different.
  • Keep your bitch meter fine-tuned and in proper working order. If you think you hear a strange noise coming from it, ask for a second opinion before proceeding with any verbal or written communication. (It is imperative that you find a valid and talented bitch meter buddy for this purpose.)
  • Practice sarcasm with a smile. You know you have perfected your craft when you can call someone an asshole and they thank you for it.
  • Fight sarcasm with humor and small talk. Like my dear friend Betty once said, “It’s hard to slap a grinning man.” It’s even harder to stay mad at someone when a common thread has been established or a laugh has been shared.

What are your tips for dealing with difficult customers? Share them below!

Seeking your Best Life or Hiding in Plain Sight

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One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ready or not, here I come. Everyone has played hide and seek. Laughing, cautiously looking under, around and in, seeking our playmate or friends. It was always better to be the hider than the seeker, scoping out the never-before-used gem that would conceal us beyond discovery.  A victory if you were the last one found or better yet if they had to call you out. It was your best life.

As children we spent more hours hiding than seeking. For some of us we have spent a lifetime. We have become experts at hiding in plain sight. Skillfully keeping unnoticed barriers between ourselves and the world and people around us. Cloaks so expertly thrown that they are disregarded and overlooked by those passing by. We still find comfort and satisfaction in the mistaken anonymity of it all.

This is not to say we are skulking in a corner or brooding in a cubicle. Quite the contrary. We are out there, we are waiting on you with a gregarious laugh, expertly hidden by a waitress pad, pen and name tag. We are checking you in, with a perfectly rehearsed greeting and a friendly efficient smile, safely tucked behind the counter and fortified by our blazer. We are answering your call through the blind end of a telephone or chatting with you through the rhythm of a keystroke.  

It is easier to be outgoing when we put a well written script upon our tongue, refining it through repetition, like a well sharpened knife against an oiled stone. The sharpness of our delivery cutting through the awkward silence, drawing a smile and affirmation of self. We find comfort as we practice and perfect our speeches. We find succor in our skill and proficiency of making other people happy. We begin to define ourselves by what we do, rather than who we are, because often we don’t know what that means. We can’t become so good at hiding that we forget to seek.

Playing the game, we always searched for someone else, diligently leaving no stone unturned. When is the last time any of us put that much energy and effort into seeking ourselves? We often go into work and put on our persona along with our nametag and uniform, giving the best of ourselves to strangers. No one wants to step out of their well-fortified hiding place.  The soothing satisfying swaddle of well-practiced comfort is difficult to step away from.

Growing up, I was “voluntold” into a script for a much older character. The adolescent fun-filled game of hide and seek was gone by age ten, and I spent my days at my parents’ mom-and-pop hotel and diner, interacting more with adults than with children. At fifteen, with a life-altering accident under my belt, I found comfort on the stage of customer service, and replaced the relationships I had lost with professional ones. It was a safe place to be, one where I was accepted and found my worth in how well I pleased everyone around me. I was confident there. I endured. It took me years of baby steps, often overwhelming fear and anxiety, lots of tears, and the never-ending reassurance of my friends and family to fully step out of my hiding place.  

I am not saying go out and quit your job; after all, there all bills to pay and everyone needs to eat. Great if you can afford to do that, but if not, that’s okay too. We need to take a step from behind our safe place and see what we can bring to who we are. We need to ask ourselves what we have done to find us? What have we done that gives us that feeling of fear and excitement all at the same time?

Can we find one thing? Two things? Can we take one step? Can we do something we always wanted to do or something we never even considered? Even if we don’t like it, even if we fail, we tried it, and every experience adds a color to who we are. Like the broken beauty of a kaleidoscope. Life lies in the seeking, not the hiding. The more we seek, the better we will be, for ourselves and those around us. And who knows where those adventures will lead?

Say it and live it: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Ready or Not, Here I come!

What are you doing to step out from hiding in plain sight? What are you doing to seek your best life? I’d love to read it below or share it to my facebook page @tammymayhew,author.

Things I Will Not Do

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Things I Will Not Do for any customer. Long, long ago I once naively said I would do anything for a customer as long as they paid me for it, and the request was legal and moral. After forty jaded year in customer service, I could choke on those words. I learned that while those boundaries mattered to me, they didn’t always matter to my customers. You ever have that customer who wanted you to do something for them that you wouldn’t do for anyone else on the planet? I don’t know why I’m actually asking that question, because of course you have.

Here is a sample of the things I would or will not do for any customer. (Lord knows this list is not all-inclusive.) 

  • I will not give you your room service order if you answer the door naked. (I will laugh when I see the size of what you think is my tip.)
  • I will not lift your naked wet husband out of the bathtub. (This will not end well, as neither myself nor my team has been trained in convalescent care. We may both end up in the tub. I will call an ambulance to assist.)
  • I will not give you access to my security camera footage to spy on your girlfriend at the bar. (Not only will I not do that, you run the risk of me telling said girlfriend what you asked me to do.)
  • I will not let you go see a room unaccompanied.  (My hotel room is not your assured-to-be-clean public restroom.)
  • I will not babysit your children in the lobby. (If you are not interested in watching your little angels, what makes you think I am? I will promptly and always send them back to your room.)
  • I will not suffer your bad mood. (Your poor planning or life choices are not my problem—I just may make your bad day worse.)
  • I will not allow you and five of your closest friends to play a drunken game of full contact football in my hallway. (I will use my very best Catholic mom guilt-laden speech to scold and embarrass six grown-ass men.)
  • I will not refund part of your night’s stay after you have spent an hour in your room with your girlfriend.  (I will provide turn down service and leave those little mints on your pillow, so be a prince and pay for and stay the whole night.)
  • I will not let you taste everything on the menu for free until you find something you like. (I will charge you for all that you order, as, “I don’t like that” is not a valid reason to not pay for your meal. If you want a taste of everything, go to an ice cream shop.)
  • I will not allow you or your kids to bang on the fifteen-thousand-dollar baby grand piano in the lobby. (I do not wear noise cancelling earbuds to work. I will tell your untalented oblivious-to-painfully-annoying-sounds ass(es) to stop.)
  • I will not clean up after your furry family member when they shit on my lobby floor. (And don’t try and tell me that he is a service dog. I will gladly provide you with paper towels, cleaning rags, disinfectant spray and a smile.)
  • I will not marginalize my team, myself or my integrity to make you feel better. (I will value them and myself as much as I value your business.)

What crazy customer requests have you received and refused to do? I’d love to read them below or visit me at my facebook page @tammymayhew,author.