That is the question that hit me when I opened facebook today. A friend said she had to put together a talk for church about “Enduring to the End”. She was having a hard time putting it together and asked the ever-wise audience of social media for help. The answers were cookie cutter at best. Folks quoting scripture, stating it was our duty to endure all things. In doing so we would be a testament to our faith, and it was then that we fulfilled our goal of living a worthy or noble life. Dutifully enlightening and mostly full of crap.
Me, while looking at her request wrote a response. A response of, “Isn’t that exactly what is happening here on not such a giant life event scale? There is something you wish to accomplish as mundane as you think it may be. You are struggling, you are asking for help and you will finish it, seeing it through to the end. Enduring, and your question is what again?”
I left out the rest, the part that was running around in my overthinking brain as I read the ever-martyring responses of lives lived through their sacrifice only to end in a righteous death. Why the hell do you want to just endure? Life is to be lived, enjoyed, loved through, cried over, and laughed through. Why does anyone even want you to write that piece? Endure what? My guess was accepting to do that talk when you really didn’t want to, or as I like to put it, you were voluntold what to do, and you did it.
How many of us never think of saying no? I know I didn’t. Tammy Mayhew wasn’t raised to say no and so many of you weren’t either. I was raised in a family business. The world of service and hospitality, conditioned me to please other people at the expense of myself. Somehow other people’s needs, and feelings were above my own. I was conditioned to endure my own discomfort while pleasing everyone around me. For the most part the customer service world reinforces that ideology day after day after day.
One official definition of the word endure is, “To continue to exist or experience a hardship over a long period of time”. Life was not intended to be “endured” it was meant to be lived. It is a frightening epiphany when you realize that instead of living your life, you endured it. Simply being, with just enough bits and pieces of love, joy, and happiness to sustain you. Living this way, or let me rephrase that, existing this way does not fortify the soul, it starves it.
Grab the pieces, all the pieces. The good, the bad, the joy, the chaos and the sorrow, and claim it as your own. Look ahead and reflect inward at what feeds YOUR soul. I did. Follow what you find, and bring all that you carry with you, use it build and shore up your path. I did. It is a daunting and scary proposition.
I don’t’ know what I was more afraid of; stepping outside my responsibly enduring comfort zone, letting the world see ME, or ME looking at myself and asking and answering those questions of my own heart. I did it and I have no regrets. It may have taken longer than I would have liked, but I did it and so can you. Unburden with me what you endure in your life? Share with me here or on my facebook author page@tammymayhew,author what feeds your soul? Inspire me with your dreams and beautiful chaos?